Reflections

The Wait

Do I really need to wait?

Recently I was in a situation that needed me to wait for a report for a task I had done. This meant that no matter what I was going to do, think, feel, go or even try to do… NOTHING was going to change my situation but I needed to just wait.

Recently I was in a situation that needed me to wait for a report for a task I had done. This meant that no matter what I was going to do, think, feel, go or even try to do… NOTHING was going to change my situation, I needed to just wait.

It can be so hard when one applies for a job and the potential employers do not even acknowledge receipt so one has to just wait. Question is, if the email went to the right address or it was intercepted or it was purely ignored, yet all one gets to do is WAIT.

While having a conversation with some girl friends I realized I was not the only one who was suffering in silence in this ‘waiting’ game. This is when the story was told about an unmarried lady who confesses the religion of the Holy Book, went astray and chose to behave like she was a happily married woman. In the process of the passion and other related activities therein, she found that fluids had been exchanged in a manner to remind her of the titration process in the chemistry laboratory. These actions naturally caused a sense of panic in her life in every letter of that word. In reality, everything from that day, gave her a vision of possible results of her actions with regards to her ‘coitus interruptus’ – or so she had hoped it was.

So when it was time for her menses to show up, they did not show up. She counted her days, backwards and forward and in between, over and above everything she knew and nothing seemed to make any sense. She then had to do the next reasonable thing and get herself tested. But wait a minute, how could she walk into a clinic and do that, who would see her going in, maybe the lab tech would identify her ( this lady was a very common and familiar person ), then ask why she would be taking such a test? Would she need to use her real name, could she use someone else sample? How would she explain her reason for actually visiting that section of the medical facility?

The story was getting juicy as we were listening to our girlfriend narrate in such immaculate details – hmmm?  Actually at some point I felt as if she was talking about herself. The emotions that were generated with that story could only be her own. But who are we to judge her?

So this lady, am told, eventually went to get a home testing kit and did a test. I hear it takes a few minutes to give a result. You should have seen my friend telling us, this bit of the story, we all felt the wait. We were counting the minutes with her and watching the strip discolor towards the control lines indicated. We could feel a similar anxiety she ( oops I mean ‘her’ friend)  felt. The test came out negative. That is a good thing we thought, but she still did not believe it since she was so sure that her ‘actions’ warranted positive results. Any way she claimed that these home kits are known to possibly give false negatives – whatever that means!!!

At this point of the story, the rest of the audience were waiting with baited breath for what happens next. What else did the lady do? By the way, where is the man in this story? We were afraid to ask lest we change the course of the story. But I realize, in as much as we want to know what happened next – we had to WAIT.

So after a few days, we are told that the lady begun to feel bloated and nauseated and just hate things.  That feeling of bubbles criss-crossing the lower abdominal body part that is normally feels like a soccer match for Mashemji derby at Kasarani Stadium. Therefore it could only mean one thing –  BINGO – things were THICK. Infact we are told that the lady begun to suddenly recognize other ladies around her who were heavy with child. Somehow, in the matatus, along the paths, in the malls, everywhere, the universe presented to her – Ladies who were expectant.

As all this was going on, we are told, she chose to share her fears of what would happen now that her menses were not showing up at the appointed time and it could be otherwise. What scared her was the fact that she professed the Christian faith and so did the ‘coitus  uninterruptus’ processor. What would she tell her family, her  children – did I mention earlier she was already a single / divorced mother of 2 teenage children ( okay now you know), she was also currently taking care of her sisters child who lived with her since the sister was a dead beat mum, tell her loyal and otherwise judgmental  friends, her church buddies, her pastors wife ( The Pastors wife had grown very fond of her due to her maturity and stability of faith that she had been demonstrating in church) , Her colleagues at work  – who by the way saw her as such a lovely Godly woman of the organization of moral standing, she was such a mentor to the ladies? This just seemed to devastate her thinking and am told she begun to loose her self in this agony of reality she was living.

 

So my question as a human being to myself, Why do we put ourselves in such situations – am NOT in any way judging – gosh ( you should know my story …Shhhh)  But seriously, the waiting for the report in this particular situation is killing !!!. We need to take a break and move away from this ‘body fluid exchange’ situation that may be making you edgy and look at  it in a different perspective.

We sit for exams and yet, we are so sure, we did not take the time to read and study and still expect to pass them? That kind of waiting is very tricky – you know those people who speak about miracles – are you one of them? You want to eat soft and chewable tripe aka MATUMBO ( by the way I don’t eat them at all!!!  ) and yet you don’t want to wash them clean and let them boil for about 3 – 4 hours ( oooh dear!!!) But we want to put it in a pressure cooker for 30 minutes add things that may make it loose its originality ( am not even sure it tastes the same) – my point being – you still need to wait.

What about an elephant – It has to carry its baby to term for between 18 and 22 months ( for a cute little munching baby elephant to pop out. Oh gosh just googled that an alpine salamander can reach 48 months !!! Now that’s the definition of WAIT.

When people agree to have a meeting, unless they are disciplined, one will have to WAIT for the other. It could mean, that other things made the former late and so the latter has to wait. Whether the reason to make one WAIT  is valid or not the fact still remains – just WAIT.

As a Christian, we are told to ‘…wait upon the Lord ..’ Isaiah 40:31  and things will happen. Am told that good things come to those who ‘wait’ But wait a minute, what does it mean to actually wait?  According to Mirriam-Webster – it means to stay in place in expectation of While Oxford Dictionary tells us ‘Stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or event’.

Bottom line it tells us to be in a state of not further action until something else happens.

Why do we have to wait for things? Everything in life has its time and season. So when we are told or made to wait, it simply means that something is not yet ready in that particular state and it needs more time in order to appreciate the final result.

We are currently in what we call the ‘micro-wave’ generation and every thing needs to be done here and now and yes – RIGHT NOW. Why wait, for what, so that, and then ? We are in a state where when we don’t get instant results over our situations, we are anxious, we are not happy, we get sick, we get angry we get upset and most likely look for an alternative way of getting it done.  So really why wait?

Waiting allows the process to take place in that situation. It allows things and people to align themselves to provide the best possible results under the circumstances. So waiting is actually a good thing for you to experience. It tests your level of patience over an unspecified period of time. When I think of the many times I have refused to wait for the batter to be well baked, the results were a disaster – ooh well at least we were able to eat the crust of the cake – who said that the middle mushy bit is not edible.

Waiting stretches your capacity to deal with things. This element of being patient does so much to a person. You learn to take things in their stride and not rush to what you want but let it be as it should be.

This whole situation of waiting  allows for a clearer vision of purpose for what it is one is waiting for. When in the WAIT state, the mind goes on over drive for some people resulting in looking at things at a different angle. I don’t know if it happens to  me alone but, I find myself creating solutions for a situation that I am in wait. For instance – What if the results comes this way,  how would I handle, but if it comes this way, then it could be the other, but also, supposed it does not come in any of the ways am thinking about, then what? Or wait a minute – ( there comes that word again ) Why am I even thinking about it like that, suppose I change what am I thinking about this situation, it could be different too? Things just get clearer with time as we WAIT

Waiting allows for total surrender to a higher power – I choose to call this power – Jehovah. Why you will ask? Because, as Christian, we are mandated to give our lives to Christ. Meaning that our everything should be in the hands of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Now, lets be honest, there are times when we are very clear and tell our God that is not to be interfered with. Its our turf and He needs to keep off.  We may not realize it but when we are in total surrender, we find our WAIT much bearable. Not that we shall not pull tuntrums over the situations – infact, we kind of need to because it is  not easy – but because of our trust in HIM and HIM alone, we shall choose to wait.

One of the fruits of the Holy spirit is Patience – this is normally tested so many times by the way we handle things in our life ( Galatians 5:22-23) Think of a pregnant woman and the issue growing inside her ( please excuse my use of the word ‘issue’ to refer to the bundle in the uterus – our courts call them that when the parents have drama and need to split – story for another day) and yet, she cannot do anything but just WAIT. It has to be 32 – 38 weeks then the baby is good to take a walk into our world. Some times, the mother will have what we call ‘Braxton Hicks Contractions’ and feel there you go.. time to push.  However, they are normally at about 6 weeks into pregnancy and this means that if the mother tries to push it would be a disaster – hence the total bed rest they are given ( Am a mother so I know exactly what am speaking about – even though that may have been over 19 yrs ago). So, don’t push just wait for the right time and things will happen as they need to (whether in pain or not – let me stop lying – it is painful – ) and baby will be done baking.

Being in the WAIT game is not easy, its tough its hard and makes us give up sometimes. But let us learn to just hang in there as it will be of great help to our  lives. Am not sure who said that ‘god helps those who help themselves – since it is not there in the Bible ? But it is good to wait.

 

Oh dear me, you must be wondering about our story about our lady friend?

Yes eventually she got her menses and vowed not to get into such a situation again ( how believable this statement may be is totally questionable). We neither heard of her again nor get to hear if the man in the mix was ever told about her anxieties. However, as I think about it now, could it be that our friend was telling us her story? Could it be that she was going through the process of wait herself and needed her circle to just be there her?

When am in the wait, who will be there in the wait with me as I wait? Because either way, I must just wait.

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